Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Here.




I stopped writing a while ago, subconsciously perhaps protecting my privacy and the other half just life being busy busy busy. This is where I go to think, after a long day and I need to write it out. This is where I go to process and work through and find me. I've had the luxury of close friends and best friends to process and love on and celebrate, but I miss the writing. The documenting. The lookback at the steps and to see how far I've come and where life has gone and how incredibly somewhat mind-blowing it all unfolds.

This weekend was beautiful. This weekend was special and awesome and heart.explode. kinda good. This weekend, we celebrated two years, and this weekend, we celebrated how far we have come and how much we have grown. I wrote, 10 months ago, in a completely different place. Scared, unsure, unwilling to budge and unwilling to move, but here we are. Here we are and we are stronger than ever before and we have dug in, clung on, and made permanent imprints. I am proud, and I am grateful, and I am excited.

"It's not an if but a when"

What an incredible thing to be able to say of your relationship. What an incredible feeling to be loved and to love on patiently, kindly, gently. He gets my crazy, and in all the crazy of crazies, I get his too. We try, and we make mistakes, and sometimes, we get angry with each other but at the end of the day, two tickles and apologies that are sincere, we talk. We talk until the cows come home and we work it out, we're in this, for the long haul, and so we learn, we pack away, we start again, we hold on tighter.

I wasn't looking for this when I met him. I'm not even sure that I knew exactly what I was looking for. I had no clue this would be this important and significant. I had no clue we were forever and now I am so thankful that I didn't. Because it made us, us. Friends, lovers, fighters, doers.

I wrote this, this weekend and posted it. 45 likes later and I still mean every word.

"Two years ago today, I accidentally met a boy in a seedy bar.

At first, he was my only friend that was tall enough to help me change lightbulbs plus he volunteered his washer and dryer so I didn't have to scrounge up 1000 quarters to do the 16 loads of laundry that I was stockpiling.

He'd crash our sushi parties, and we both learned a whole new world from each other like never being able to reach the top aisle at the grocery store if you're short or how having long legs is not a bonus when you're trying to fit into a car.

Some nights, after a crazy night out with friends, we would call each other and stay up too late playing 'guess what happened today' or 'ohmygodihavetotellyouastory'. Another night, on a whim, we drove all around Springfield trying to find the house with best Christmas lights.

The first time he asked me out, I turned him down and he made me watch the tackiest 80s movie(Big Trouble in Little China) in retaliation.

During hell week(retail at Christmas!!), he would surprise me and the girls at work with lattes or warm dinners. In turn, he let me try out new recipes on his stomach of steel. Some were successful and some, well, he just thanked me for with a big smile.

The first time I knew I was in love with this silly goody two shoes nerd boy was when I saw this picture of us at a party. From the outside looking in, there was no denying that we thought the world of each other. He had captured my heart by being my friend first and I had the hugest school girl crush.

We went on a phenomenal first date but then I broke his heart by moving halfway across the world six months later. So he quit his job, sold his house, gave away the dog he loved, said bye to all his friends and family to come start a dream with me.

He is my best friend, my partner-in-crime, my pasar malam buddy, and he reminds me of all that is good in the world.

He makes me stupid proud and has the best heart. He lets me be, do, try, dream and when I am scared and insecure, he holds me and reminds me that I am enough.

Mr K, thank you for being you, thank you for that smile bigger than your face can contain and thank you for being there on a random cold night at a seedy bar 2 years ago.

You are my peanut to my buttaahhh and I'm glad we have us. :)

I love you and thanks for the perfect anniversary date."

And it was perfect. And magical. And as we walked back to the car after Stomp! followed by a fancy dinner and drinks at an even fancier lounge with an incredible view of the city, it was raining. And so we sang singing in the rain and held hands, running and laughing and trying to make it back to the car in one piece.

These are what dreams are made of.

And today, at a meeting that determines so much, he was next to me, as we discussed and figured out and I was floored again of how God has a plan if I just keep the faith and hold on. Dream big little girl, dream big, dream loud, take a deep breath and believe. So many things are happening and they are special and good and overwhelming, and over dinner, we squeal and we laugh and I share all my hopes and dreams and he just smiles and says, I got you, babe.



"The biggest adventure you can ever take is to live the life of your dreams."
~ Oprah