Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Have you seen my words?



I vary between conflicting extremes of being so overwhelmed, so grateful, so heartbroken, and a host of other emotions that don't quite have words. It is easy, then hard, then sometimes paralyzing to think of the huge, monumental, incredibly big changes to come.

I am scared, I am nervous, I am excited, I am ready, I am terribly unprepared, I am stoked, I am sad, I am grateful, I am at peace, I am procrastinating, I am...well, a lot of things at the moment.

I have a laundry list of things to do but at the top, is spending some much needed time with friends before I leave and enjoying the moments. It's been a journey, and this journey is going out with a pop and a sizzle and a bang!

There are so many things I want to write about and share but in between savoring my last precious days with the people I love deeply doing all sorts of fun and crazy things that are uniquely from this area (I may or may not have gone to the waterpark 3 times this month with different groups of friends and have had a freaking blast each and every time!), there isn't much time to sit and organize my thoughts.

I'm also somewhat of a slow processor, it takes me a while to figure it all out in my head before I can give it words. Case in point, this beautiful amazing fun-filled crazy last weekend in kc. Six hours after getting back in, completely exhausted and delirious, I'm turning into bed so incredibly overwhelmed and grateful and as I whisper I love you to the sleeping boy. He whispers back I love you too and the floodgates open. I'm not talking a tear, I'm talking a rush of sobs and fragile emotions and what in the world was that?!?

So yeah, it's a little overwhelming at the moment. I hurt that I will miss so much but am so thankful for all the love and good wishes. It's a pretty little conundrum, I am so so excited to take this flight home yet a part of me is also so sad to leave. I leave behind not only my friends, but I leave behind this moment, this place in time of such happiness and friendships but take with me all the memories. I'm positive I could have worded that better but again, it's hard to put things into words when you're still trying to figure it all out yourself.

So for now, there's more hanging out, more shopping, more packing, more mundane errands and tweeting and crackbooking and avoiding.

:P

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"People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

-Maya Angelou